----- WEDNESDAY, 2 P.M. Casey walks into his office notices Dan sitting on the couch reading some papers. When something goes wrong, everything goes wrong. Casey: You would think somebody would fix the vending machine to where it would take dollars. Dan: It's broken? Casey: Again. A frustrated Casey sits down and lets out a sigh. All I wanted was a nice root beer. Dan: You wanna' talk about it? Casey: It's just the stupid vending machine... and everything else. Dana, Lisa, Charlie, Kevin, CSC, ESPN, all of it. Dan: I've noticed- and you've been sulking all day. Casey: Ever have one of those days, actually one of those weeks, where everything seems to be spinning out of control? Dan: Yeah. But it's usually five minutes before the show and something doesn't go right: camera's not working, we lose a satellite feed, the script is in the wrong order, stuff like that. But we pull together and make it work. Casey: And you, trying to help me with my personal life. That stupid ad. Jeremy walks into the office. Dan: You know I regret what happened. Casey: A computer personal ad under the wrong category doesn't help. The embarrassment of it all. Dan: It was an understandable mistake. Jeremy, tell Casey it was an understandable mistake. Jeremy: I can't help you there, Dan. Dan: So, I thought the "women seeking men" section was the section where men, who happen to be seeking women, would place their ads. Jeremy: You failed to recognize the importance of the hyphen. Thus, an adjective. Casey: Yes! The hyphen! There was no hyphen. There's a big difference between "women seeking men" and "women hyphen seeking men." One's an adjective, and the other is a noun-verb correlation! Dan: I said it was an accident. Casey: I received fifteen e-mails from men wanting to go out on a date! None from women! Jeremy: Fifteen? Casey: Yes, fifteen men found my personal ad attractive enough to ask me out. Dan: But that's the wrong section. Casey: I still received fifteen e-mails. Jeremy: I'm surprised. I'm a good guy, Jeremy. Casey: What? Only fifteen men in the tri-state area find me attractive? I'm a damn good guy. Jeremy: Yes. Dan: You're going to argue this, Casey? Casey: Yes! I'm darn attractive. Dan: So you're saying more gay men should be sending you e-mails? Gay men? Uh... Casey: Well... well, yes. Jeremy: But you're not gay. Dan: It's the irresistibility of something impossible which should draw them toward Casey. I give up. Casey shrugs his shoulders while looking at Jeremy and Dan. Dan: You've fallen off the loony bin. Jeremy: Let me say, Casey- if I were gay, and I'm not- Dan: You're not remotely gay. Jeremy, gay? Casey: I couldn't picture you being gay. Dan: Or trying to act gay. Jeremy: -I would find you attractive Casey. And I'm not gay. The three look out the door, and notice Isaac standing there. How long has Isaac been standing there? Isaac: Is this a bad time? Because I can leave and try to erase the last thirty seconds from my memory banks. Too long. Casey: No, no Isaac. We were just having a discussion. Dan: Casey was pointing out he should be more attractive to gay men. Jeremy: And that I would find Casey attractive... if I were gay. This isn't helping. Isaac: This is what you are discussing? Dan, don't you have a photo shoot you should be attending? Dan looks at his watch. Dan: Oh! I'm late! Jeremy: Which is why I came in here in the first place. Isaac: But you got sidetracked into talking about Casey and his problems? Jeremy: Yes. Dan gets up and sprints from the office. Jeremy: I've got new for you also, Isaac. Isaac: Good. Let's talk in my office. Jeremy and Isaac leave the room. Thank god. Some privacy... and no root beer. Dang it! ----- FRIDAY, 6:15 P.M. In the conference room sit Isaac, Dana, Jeremy, Casey, Bobbi, Kim, Elliott, Dave, Chris, and Will. They are wrapping up the 6 o'clock rundown. Dana: Okay, everybody. It looks like we have a good show for this evening. Kim get back with me on Arizona State. Everybody else keep me posted on any other changes. Everybody starts to gather their notes. Dana: Ahem. I also think this would be a good time to give our ideas to Isaac. Oh man! Isaac: That's correct. I need them by today, so I can present them on Monday. Everybody settles back into their seats. Dana: Okay, we're going to just go around the room. Will? Will: You're starting with me? Dana: Yes, I am. Will: You initiated this. Dana: And I'm asking you for your ideas on how to improve the show. Will: Okay. Here's what I think: we can invest in better graphics. Chris: That was my idea. Will: Well, I got to go first. Chris: Something a little flashier. Will: Something hip. New graphics would work. We haven't had something different since we started. Dana: Okay. Chris and Will suggest new graphics to help the show. Dave? Dave: A new set wouldn't be so bad. Changing the appearance would help out. With really comfy chairs. Dana: Okay. Dave wants a new set. I've got down new graphics and a new set. Elliott? Elliott: Better food. Dana: Better food? Elliott: Yeah. Something different. We always have the same snacks. A little variety wouldn't hurt. Bagels one day, fruit the next. Pastries, lots and lots of pastries. Dana: Okay, any ideas. We want any and all ideas. Bagels and fruit. Kim? Kim: Duh. New contracts. It would be good to know if we had some job security around here. Oh no. Contracts... I might not be here to see the changes. Dana: Okay. Kim wants contracts. Dana taps her pencil on the table. Dana: Knowing we all have jobs will make us work harder and better. Five-year offer from ESPN, nothing from CSC. I need security. Kim: And with more pride. Dana: Got it. Bobbi? Bobbi: You're putting me on the spot here. Dana: That's right. Dan's off tonight. And Natalie, too. Bobbi: But I do have an idea. Dana: Oh, okay. Shoot. Bobbi: How about one of those scrolling scoreboards on the bottom of the television screen? As long as they don't show the score before we do the story. Dana: Hmmm. That's good. Scrolling scoreboard. Casey? Dang. A staff member walks in and hands Isaac a note. Isaac reads the note. Isaac: You'll have to excuse me for a moment. I have something I need to attend to. Isaac gets up from the table. Dana: Any thing wrong, Isaac? Isaac: Oh, don't worry. These are good ideas. Be sure to collect the rest of them Dana and pass them onto me. Dana: I'll see you in a bit. Isaac leaves the room. Dana: Okay, back to Casey. Casey: I say everybody do the show naked. Dana: Seriously, Casey. Casey: I don't think there's any area we need to improve. That's what I believe. Dana: Casey, we're the number three network. I think there is room for improvement. Casey thinks for a moment. Think, think, think. Something to keep viewers from changing the channel right away. Casey: Okay, let's change the format. Dana: What's wrong with the format? Casey: See? There's nothing to improve with the format. Dana: Spit it out, Casey. Casey: Okay. How about changing it so we don't have a commercial right after the opening teaser. Have the commercials before the intro, that way we can go right into the show after the teasers. Dana: Now that wasn't so hard was it, Casey? Casey: I still like the nakedness better. It shows the audience we aren't hiding anything. Dana: Let me also right down my idea: random drug testing... starting with the anchors. Jeremy? Jeremy: Let's open fifteen minutes of each broadcast to the callers. Dan and Casey choose the subject, and they interact with the callers. That would be good. I would be able to give more commentary. Dana: Okay, got it. That's it everybody. We'll meet back at ten. Everybody gets up to leave. Select another one of the characters below to start "their story": |